• I Don’t Feel Like an Equal Anymore

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    When Him and I started our careers, we earned equal salaries ($40,000 each). It felt great! We were working our way up our respective ladders together as equals. I had read about marriages where one partner earns far more than the other, and honestly I was glad that we would never be like that. Or so I thought.

    Over the years, we both got annual raises. Except that Him’s annual raise was always higher than mine. And then this year, my employer froze salaries and I didn’t get a raise at all. So now my salary is $54,000 and Him’s is $69,000. He’s outpaced me by $15,000 in just four years! We’re financially stable so we weren’t depending on our incomes to rise, and financially we’re fine. But emotionally I’m not OK. I feel like I’m no longer pulling my weight and contributing equally to our finances. Given that all our debt is my student loan debt, I feel like I should be pulling harder to get that debt paid off and not burden Him with it. Him doesn’t feel like I’m burdening us, and I’m glad. But I don’t know how to stop feeling this way inside.

    Any suggestions?

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