A Friend Comes Up To You And Asks...
Posted on January 09, 2008 by Him and tagged friends, money
photo: -Mandie-
"Hey, can I borrow $______?"
How much do you give without a second thought?
One dollar?
5 dollars?
10 dollars?
20 dollars?
Your answers are appreciated.
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Without a second thought? Zero dollars. As a general policy I don't loan friends money, as it ruined a friendship in past. I might float them $20 to pay for their half of a dinner tab if they forgot their wallet at home or something, on the understanding that they paid for dinner the next time. But it would depend on the circumstances.
I would GIVE money if needed and I was able to afford it, but that would be without the expectation of being paid back. But I don't usually loan money.
DC-Fed | Jan 9, 2008
$20 bucks to a friend without hesitation. If they never repay it I consider it a relatively cheap way to find out they are scum.
Kevin @ Change Your Tree | Jan 9, 2008
I don't lend money to friends or family.
The borrower is slave to the lender and lending to friends and family puts a divide between you until it's repaid.
I'm not in the business of enslaving my friends and family members.
If they asked to borrow money for something small, I'd give up to $10. And when I say "give" I mean "give." It's a gift--no repayment necessary.
Why $10? Because it's possible they just need something small and can't get access to the money right away.
If it's more than $10, it's probably worth them getting the money from their own account. If they don't have $20 in their account, they probably have larger issues.
You have to be very careful that you aren't enabling people's bad behavior.
I have given large gifts of money to people (hundreds of dollars) who asked to borrow from me. But if I find that the money is being thrown away or going toward their bad behavior, they don't get another dime.
$20 bucks without hesitation. Although for close friends that I trust completely, I have and would give hundreds.
lwc | Jan 9, 2008
$10 with no second thoughts if i had it on me, $20 for several people. more than that is "a lot of money" for me these days, so i'd have to actually ask when they would be able to repay it, and that's just awkward!
Catherine | Jan 9, 2008
I don't carry cash with me, so I'd more likely pay for whatever it was and make sure they pay me back. I've footed up to $100 before. I'm pretty good with keeping money and friend seperate. I've been known to call someone up and say that I was the debt collector. :P
"There are very few people that I would loan money to-but if one of those people asked me for money, I would give them all I could afford to."
That is my answer too
Since your question asks about giving "without a second thought", my answer would probably be $10. Luckily, I've rarely had friends or family ask me for money!
Smith | Jan 9, 2008
$5 to $20, depending on what's in my wallet. And, I would do it knowing it was a gift. If I got repaid, it would be money found.
Liz | Jan 16, 2008 | Reply to Smith
I agree completely. If I have a $20 in my wallet I would give it willingly. I never ask to be repaid, but most people return the money some way or another. It all evens out if you are good friends. I would never ask to be repaid unless the amount was over $50.
Depends on the friend. I truly believe that a loan to a friend is probably money you will never see again (unless you have some sort of formal loan agreement in place).
I suppose it also depends on the reason they need the money. In general though, for a good friend, I would loan them up to $20 without a thought, depending on what was in my wallet. However, were it some sort of emergency, my answer would likely change.
Sarah | Jan 9, 2008
I guess I'm a little bit surprised by the "no loans" people--don't you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to pay cash, but one of your group just doesn't have the cash on them? (E.g., cabs, joint restaurant bills...) I would guess that any given moment I probably owe or am owed $5-$20 amongst my social circle. It's no big deal, unless someone gets exploitative, and we're pretty much all grown-ups.
In high school, I would lend the $1.50 for cafeteria food to friends without a second thought. Who hasn't forgotten lunch money at some point? I always mentally classified it as a gift and was pleasantly surprised when I was paid back.
I've lent twenty dollars without hesitation, but the answer to your question would really depend on who needs to borrow and why.
If I was loaning money without a second thought, $20 would be my limit. If it was a really good friend, I would go a little bit higher.
Office 'friends', enough to buy a soda out of the coke machine. But good long term friends I would loan as much as I could knowing their financial situation and ability to pay it back.
But to answer your question, without hesitation I would loan $20.00.
Up to $20 comes to mind as a no second thoughts and I'd probably not ever get it back. Oh, and that $20 would hurt me since I rarely keep more than $50 on me - but if a friend asked I wouldn't mind cause they obviously needed it for something.
I also doubt this would ever happen.
Deena | Jan 9, 2008
Withough hesitation, $20 for friends. For my sister or dad, whatever they needed. I know that I would be repaid quickly.
For co-workers, probably $20. For most friends, probably $50. For a really good friends, probably $1K (but I would need to get approval from my husband and consider it a "gift")
Depends on the friend. I've lent a bagboy at the Jewel $10 (five at a time) and would again as he never forgot it and paid me back. Most of my friends are the same, I've only been burned lending one person money, she's a black hole for cash and won't be getting any more.
Brooke (Dollar Frugal) | Jan 10, 2008
I never have this problem because I refuse to carry cash with me. If someone asks me to borrow cash, I don't even have to worry about it.
I'd give someone the cost of a meal or similar expense (~$20) with no expectation to be repaid. I know that "what goes around comes around" so when I need a favor someone will likely do the same for me. There are a few people that I would be willing to give several hundred if needed, and I would treat it as a gift (but it would be nice if the money came back one day). On the flip side my dad loaned $25k to one of my cousins (with a formal lending agreement) and it has managed to cause HUGE problems when they were less than stellar at paying the money back. My mom nearly walked out on my dad over the episode. I will NEVER get into that situation even with my closest family.
k | Jan 10, 2008
I would give 20 dollars without hesitating. But if my friend is that broke I wouldn't expect them back. I figure 20 bucks is not worth ruining a friendship, so I wouldn't lend them, I would give them, so I wouldn't have to expect them and be disappointed.
DC-Fed | Jan 11, 2008 | Reply to k
Thinking about it differently, $20 is a cheap way to find out someone is a crappy friend. Sometimes that epiphany costs others much more. I once ate the cost of a pre-paid tournament ticket when I bailed out of a sporting event with someone I thought was going to be a friend. That was about $130 dollars, but worth every penny to not end up on a trip (many hours away, involving airfare and hotel on top of the $130) with a pyscho.
5 dollars, but make sure its a gift, not a loan. if they pay me back, its all good, if not I can forget it and continue to love.
caryn | Jan 11, 2008
i would give up to $20 to friends without thinking about it. and i mean give, i would just expect it to never be repaid. i only give what i'm willing to part with and right now that's 20 bucks max.
MP | Jan 12, 2008
Zero! In the past, I lent one friend $50 and they never repaid it. I could never trust this person again.
Tanya | Jan 17, 2008
$10 max without thinking for most people. For some very close friends who I know I won't have to hassle to pay me back, it could be even more than $20.
Amanda | Jan 9, 2008
There are very few people that I would loan money to-but if one of those people asked me for money, I would give them all I could afford to.
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