When A Friend Has Become A MLM Robot
Posted on June 14, 2007 by Her and tagged friends
What do you do when a good friend gets sucked into a multi-level marketing scheme (MLM), more commonly known as pyramid schemes?
Over the past year one of my closest friends has displayed increasingly bizarre behaviors that are totally unlike her. For example, she has been making claims about how much money she is making in the MLM, even though statistically over 99% of participants in that MLM have earned less than $10,000 per year. To boot, this MLM is known for encouraging participants to acquire huge credit card debt in order to purchase products and "move up the ranks." Last time we went out to eat, her credit card was declined...for a $12 purchase.
She used to be a complete tomboy, but lately she's been bragging about the very girly prizes she has won from her MLM participation. This is a girl whose only dress was her wedding dress...but who suddenly has started carrying matching pink luggage with rhinestones on the front.
This MLM is also known for being almost cult-ish in its religious doctrine. She is from a family of atheists, and until recently, never expressed the slightest interest in religion. Last time I saw her, she had purchased a bracelet with scripture on it.
Now, carrying debt and bracelets in pink luggage are hardly unusual by themselves. But in this instance, these things are totally out of character for my friend.
I am afraid she is becoming a MLM robot and is headed for financial ruin. I sent her some literature exposing the dangers of this MLM and never got a reply. What's a girl to do?
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Kimberly | Jun 14, 2007
Wow. I wonder what's missing in her life that she's using this to fill. When I got sucked into that organization, it was because my fiance was unemployed and I thought I'd have to carry the household. They'll find their "in" -- they're master recruiters. Hopefully your friend will snap out of it in time to send her inventory back for most of her money back. Sad, those prizes weren't "won", just bought by stockpiling inventory.
Michael | Jun 14, 2007
There are a lot of resources out there for friends & family of people who get sucked into MLM's. Unfortunately, the advice that I've seen most often is "Wait till they hit rock bottom, recognize their mistake, and only then can you help them up". http://www.mlm-thetruth.com/ is a good place to start, though their website design leaves much to be desired. http://www.pinktruth.com also probably has some resources for you. And Money Dummy (http://www.moneydummy.net/) has some stories in her archive about a previous life as a consultant/drone for an MLM.
MVP | Jun 15, 2007
You did the right thing, about all you can do, by letting her know you care and giving her some information. I had a similar experience with a work acquaintance who quit her job and began selling insurance. I was flattered when she began calling me to have coffee and hang out more often. Then I realized at the end of every meeting, she'd push me to consider some products and tell me she wanted to meet with me and my husband at a later time. It became clear to me she really didn't care about me, she just wanted to sell me insurance, and frankly, that hurt a bit.
I recently read a really compelling first-person account of (what sounds like) a different major MLM: perhaps the first-person nature might speak to your friend? The main page is here, and the first chapter is here.
If you are going to try anything "drastic" (like preaching to her the evils of MLM or the economics of it) then you have to do it early. The longer a person is a member of an MLM, the more likely they'll percieve any attack on the organization as an attack on themselves.
"Detach with love." Tell her that you love her and that you hope she isn't in any trouble, but that you really don't want to/can't spend time with her if she is going to be a part of this organization.
There really isn't much you can do until she realizes how toxic the situation is that she is in, and it's not a good idea for you guys to be around someone with this kind of money/debt issue.
Concerned | Jun 15, 2007
I have been a part of what you're calling an MLM for over a year now. You need to find out which business she has gotten involved with before you make assumptions. They are all very different. Also, it depends which team she has become a part of. I am not religious and we don't stock pile inventory ever!
One of the acid tests for MLM business vs. pyramid scheme is whether or not there is a real product of reasonable value to sell. If this business (I suspect I know which one but I won't guess) has a real product, then it's probably not a pyramid scheme. If there is just money being shuffled around, then it probably is.
The two are not the same.
Gary | Jun 16, 2007
I'm not a fan of MLMs, because I do not like that type business. I must agree with mbhunter though, on the nature of MLM vs pyramid scheme. Most MLMs are set up to sell products. It is a legit business. I do thing that many people get their hopes up about moving up, when most will not. People with poor money sence can lose their shirt. I like that you are supportive of your friendship and care about her. She needs that no matter what she is doing in life. I do not agree with Eva who said that you shouldn't deal with her. That shows the opposite of caring. She will not be a bad influence on you. You are far more financially savy than she seems to be (though I still disagree with the cc). Just be clear that you are not interested, unless she is selling a product that you like. Won't hurt you or her if you purchase something you may have purchased anyway. Who knows, she may be among the .01 percent that moves up.
I wouldn't worry too much about the changes she is displaying. I don't know how old she is, but many people in their 20s go through some pretty major life changes. Weddings, jobs and friendships are just a few.
That's some scary stuff. There's a lot of companies trying to fill the religious void, (apple for instance). I don't know which is worse, a religion taking all your money, or a company that wants to be a religion taking all your money. Either way it looks like burying your money in the back yard, and going "camping" for a year might be a good idea.
Amanda | Jun 14, 2007
Wow - that is scary. I suppose there's not really much you can do, since you've already let her know of your concern regarding the MLM and sent her some information about the dangers and such... I guess all you can do is just be there for her when she (hopefully!) finally comes to her senses!
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