Spontaneity, Surprises and the Joint Account
Posted on November 30, 2006 by Him and tagged gifts, spending
Yes, the holidays have descended upon us, meaning the purchasing of gifts. This is probably the one time of the year that Her and I like to get something expensive special for each other.
But when you share an account, how do you keep purchases secret? Both Her and I check our checking account on a daily basis, so any unexpected purchases need to be thoughtfully explained. It's not really a secret if the online ledger says VICTORIA'S SECRET BATH AND BODY WORKS. How do I explain that?
"Uh, my skin is really dry. And I really need to exfoliate. A lot."
"This lingerie is for...my boss?"
This doesn't just apply to holidays, though. Birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
If you share a joint account with your partner, how do you remain spontaneous? How do you surprise your significant other with a gift without raising red flags?
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Kim | Nov 30, 2006
I'm the only one who looks at the bank account. For my birthday, I told him to take out cash and buy my present with that, and he did just that. For Christmas, he called me yesterday and told me that there would be some charges and to just not ask questions. I told him to wait until today (payday) to do any shopping because yesterday there was only $50 in the account. He's not the big surprise type of guy, but if he ever wanted to do that, I don't know how he'd pull it off.
Sarah | Nov 30, 2006
It's not that hard for my husband and myself... we either take out the $$$ in cash (we agree on a set amount ahead of time), or if there is something that I want to order online, then I just tell him not to look at the CC statement until after the present is opened. I know my husband is a snooper (he admitted to digging through his parents closets at xmas time!) but he even if he sees the store where his present is bought, he still doesn't know what it is. So we still have the element of surprise.
Christiana | Nov 30, 2006
One way to do it, is to budget the spending (it's not like you're not aware that you're getting something for the other person) and then pull out the cash and pay cash for the item. Or if you can, buy something from a not-so-obvious store like a department store or Amazon or ebay. That way it could be anything.
This post is slightly depressing. We don't generally buy eachother things. Mostly because of all the kids and our situation.
Although, for us, I am the watcher of the bills and the statements. I'm not sure if he has ever seen one. So, I can charge or spend willy nilly and he is none the wiser.
I also keep a cash stash that grows and then depletes. We use this cash for whatever and it isn't tracked. So, should he need to buy something, like past presents he takes the cash from the stash. We have had the stash as high as $6k and now it is flowing as low as a few hundred. I add a couple hundred a week. Unless, something is out of line of the norm.
Isaac | Nov 30, 2006
We each have an individual credit card that we can use to purchase gifts for each other, but we can't spend more than we can pay off at the end of the month.
edenz | Nov 30, 2006
We also each have individual checking accounts for gifts and the small stuff (lunch, parking, etc.) Each month we put an equal (but small) amount in each account from our main account. Not only does it keep gifts a secret, we don't have to argue about purchaeses that we don't agree on (like lunch out every day or clothing). It's also nice to have some money that's your own, you don't notice being frugal on everything else as much.
Ariella | Nov 30, 2006
I'm going to preface this with one thing: my husband and I have a positive net worth, and it continues to get more positive on a daily basis. That said: we either take the money out of the ATM and buy presents with cash OR we use our credit cards and pay them off at the end of the month.
Malla | Nov 30, 2006
The future MR. & I have discussed this already and decided that we will have a joint account that the checks get deposited to and the bills paid out of. Once the bills are paid, we will transfer a set amount for each of us (probably $75-100/week) to individual accounts for buying gas, lunch at work, gifts, and other stuff that's personal and not for the household.
Sharon | Nov 30, 2006
My husband and I have separate checking accounts that are both linked to a joint savings account. Every two weeks we deposit our paychecks in the savings account and since I pay all the bills from my checking account, I just transfer whatever I need every week. He takes a set amount out of savings for the two weeks and he cannot take more unless he asks me. He never sees my checking account and I never see his. But he can see the savings account activity to see if I am taking out more than I really need for our expenses, which I never do. We have been doing this for 10 years without a hitch.
We budget personal funds for each of us and transfer that amount to our individual checking accounts. Gifts come from that -- though I'm not sure we're gonna give gifts this year or not. I just really hate the prescribed ritual and have only participated for the daughter's enjoyment the past many years.
Secret Santa | Dec 1, 2006
This can be tricky, since we don't have any accounts that are separate. We both use one joint credit card for all purchases (and pay it off each month), and each of us checks the balance almost daily. Since it's an Amazon credit card, however, we keep getting these Amazon gift certificates (their form of rebate). So now we use the Amazon gift certificates (and our own individual email addresses, which the other does not check) to purchase gifts for each other.
Or we'll just use cash.
triple-e | Dec 1, 2006
We don't do a lot of online account peeking. Our expenses get put in quicken (and pocket quicken for palm right in the store) so, we just change the name of the store to "gift for Mrs." when entering into Quicken. As long as the bill doesn't show up before the holiday (which with my wait until the last second way of shopping) works great. I don't look at the accounts much in quicken (because I don't have too, our budget is working) so Mrs. can enter things without much worry of my discovering.
I'm glad my SO and I have separate credit card accounts just for that purpose :)
PS - We're having a holiday credit and debt haiku contest over at CreditBloggers.com this week.
I would suggest either taking out the amount in cash or using your personal credit card and then paying it off immediately.
We don't buy each other presents! We used to, until it hit me that the money we were spending on each other was our own money...I'd rather have the money in our savings than flowers or jewelry (for now, at least!). I'm probably the only woman in America who feels this way, which is fine with my husband!
We don't buy each other presents either. Especially for Christmas - why should we buy gifts for each other just because the commercial holiday machine tells us we must? We do things every day (not just on birthdays and Christmas) to show that we love each other - and those things don't have to involve spending money. In the first year or two of our relationship, we did the flowers and gifts routine. Now, we buy the things we need or want, and discuss pretty much any purchase we make. We don't have any money secrets. And J knows that my engagement ring is the only diamond I ever want to own. But he does pick flowers from our garden for me in the summer :)
Hmm, this is a toughy! Up a few months ago, every penny in our house went in and out of one chequing account. It's worked well for us in that we now have full transparancy on our accounts, but makes gift buying difficult. Now, we both have our own chequing accounts on top of our join account. All income goes into the joint, and we both get a little bit (about $200 per paycheque) put into our own accounts. We can use this money as we like - for shoes, lunch, presents.
Lin | Nov 30, 2006
isn't that what ATM's are for?
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