In the past day and a half, Her and I have had to don our extra-strength flamesuits. Hell, I didn’t even know she posted this until I got to work yesterday and saw there was a bajillion comments and counting. Admittedly, I was shocked when I read that post. Not only that, but very embarrassed, and very humiliated. The person who wrote that post was not the same person who I had proposed to, was living with, have been with for the past 7 years, but most importantly, fell in love with and still love.
The fact of the matter is that there is more to that post that you know. Her did a terrible job of trying to explain the situation and indeed sounded like a spoiled brat about the situation. In fact, if you’ve been wondering why we haven’t posted in the last days in response, it’s because we’ve been too busy fighting about it amongst ourselves.
If you were privy to the absolute whole story, you’d know that that Her disappointment was not about the lack of financial support given by Her parents. Her disappointment is about the lack of ANY support given by Her parents. There have been too many times in Her life that Her parents have let her down, but it most easily manifests itself when it comes to finances.
She doesn’t feel entitled to money. But like any child of a parent, she feels entitled to love and support. It wasn’t the loss of $10,000 that upset Her; it was the fact that Her mother wanted NOTHING to do with the wedding. Her mother didn’t want to help plan anything, she did not want to see Her try on wedding dresses, and was generally distant from the whole situation. I’m a guy, and I’m even aware that every little girl wants her mother to be there during the wedding planning. Her didn’t want to do this alone.
No one deserves to have the less-than-supportive relationship that Her has with her parents. No one should have been privy to Her acting out, either. But you must remember that bloggers are people too, and we have emotions that may lead us to do things that we may regret. It’s easy to cast judgment on us after reading one post.
To the commenters, we thank those of you who left constructive criticism. Your feedback, while not necessarily well received, is appreciated. If you have left your contact information, thank you for leaving open a channel of communication in case we ever want to discuss what you may have said. For those of you who dropped comments that were derogatory, and especially those who left these comments and didn’t leave any contact info, let me tell you what a commenter said:
It’s a good thing that none of you have ever made money mistakes, have ever felt momentary ingratitude, have ever lashed out in a moment of frustration. I’m so glad to hear that you are completely without sin and fault, and can come from that stance when you so harshly criticize two people who asked for help and advice. There’s a fine line between being honest and being harsh and judgmental, and it has clearly been crossed many times here.
So go ahead. Judge all you want. We put ourselves out there for your enjoyment, so it’s easy to judge. We’ll leave comments open. But, no matter what Her may have wrote in the prior post, I know that she is resourceful, compassionate, humble, a good cook, aware of societal costs, a hard worker, aware of rampant consumerism, concerned with other people’s debt, concerned with our financial future, and damn good in bed.
Have a good weekend.