• If Money Were No Object – Use Imaginations People!

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    I loathe memes. But, since I am doing absolutely nothing on the couch while the ol’ ACL heals up, I thought I’d participate in the If Money Were No Object meme started by the diva-taculous Single Ma.

    Now, this means that I have unlimited money. Or better yet, a debt/credit card with no limit and never has to be paid.

    I always thought that the point of these tasks were to let you imagination soar to reveal what you would really do without boundaries. That said, without further ado, here’s 10 things I would do If Money Were No Object:

    • Fill room with gold coins, dive in and take a swim, a la Scrooge McDuck in Ducktales
    • Toilet paper? Grab a Benjamin!
    • Gilded life-size statue of me and Her.
    • I would never be in the same city for more than a few days, staying at pimptacular hotels, renting limos to go to McDonald’s, and getting wasted everynight, then jetsetting off to whatever destination. Who needs a permanent dwelling if you’re the richest transient around?
    • Open a bar. If you can make me laugh, drinks are on the house. Assholes get thrown out immediately. Ladies night? How about ladies FOREVER (sorry Her, but this is fantasyland I can do whatever I want)
    • Dig a huge tunnel underground that a million bats will live in. I’ll install crime fighting computers and gizmos in the cave, not to mention have a kick ass bat-shaped car. I’ll learn martial arts and get a cool rubber costume that may or may not have nipples. At night I will become a vigilante and beat up robbers, and penguin-resembling crime bosses with specialized equipment that I have on my belt. TOTALLY ORIGINAL.
    • New clothes, everyday. The old ones can be auctioned off millions with the proceeds going to charities.
    • Drink every beer ever brewed.
    • Buy stock when it is HIGH and sell when it is LOW. DAREDEVIL!
    • Get out of debt, give billions to charities, philanthropy, blah blah blah

    Top this absurdity, bitches.

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